John Petrie's Collection of

Great Song Lyrics

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<--Back to the greatest movie, TV, and song lines

I dropped down and I called out to heaven, “Send me someone to love!” Heaven shot back: “You get the love that you allow.” And everything is different now.: -Don Henley, “Everything is Different Now”
Hold on to 16 as long as you can Changes come around real soon, make us women and men: -John Cougar Mellencamp, "Jack and Diane"
Rock and roll ain't noise pollution Rock and roll ain't gonna die Rock and roll ain't no pollution Rock and roll is just rock and roll.: -AC/DC, "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution"
If you look at your reflection in the bottom of a well, what you see is only on the surface. If you try to see the meaning hidden underneath, the measure of the depth can be deceiving. The bottom has a rocky reputation… You can feel it in the distance, the deeper down you stare From up above it's hard to see, but you know it when you're there. On the bottom words are shallow, on the surface talk is cheap, and you can only judge the distance by the company you keep.: -Joe Walsh, "The Confessor"
Why do we give up our hearts to the past? And why must we grow up so fast?: -Joe Walsh, "Pretty Maids All in a Row" (Eagles)
If you're looking to get silly, you better go back to from where you came because the cops don't need you and, man, they expect the same.: -Bob Dylan, "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues"
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear You shout and no one seems to hear And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.: -Roger Waters, "Brain Damage"
Well, I've always had a deep respect and I mean that most sincerely The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think Oh, by the way, which one's Pink?: -Roger Waters, "Have a Cigar"
I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's His hair was perfect.: -Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London"
Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac A little voice inside my head said don't look back, you can never look back…: -Don Henley, "The Boys of Summer"
I'm sorry that you feel that way They only there is to say: Every silver lining's got a touch of grey.: -Robert Hunter, "Touch of Grey"
All these people that you mention, Yes, I know them, they're quite lame. I had to rearrange their faces And give them all another name.: -Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row"
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves. Let me forget about today until tomorrow...: -Bob Dylan, “Mr. Tambourine Man”
There’s a time for everyone if they’d only learn that the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn. There’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors when the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours...: -Tim Rice, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t want to go If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I’d just as soon stay home If they don’t have a Grand Ole Opry like they do in Tennessee, just send me to hell or New York City, it would be about the same to me.: -Hank Williams, Jr., “If Heaven Ain’t a Lot Like Dixie”
I’ve been searching for the daughter of the devil himself, I’ve been searching for an angel in white I’ve been waiting for a woman who’s a little of both, and I can feel her, but she’s nowhere in sight.: -Don Henley, Glenn Frey, “One of These Nights”
Half the people can be part right all of the time and some of the people can be all right part of the time but all of the people can’t be all right all of the time. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours— I said that.: -Bob Dylan, “Talkin’ World War III Blues”
I couldn’t take it any longer Lord I was crazed And when the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave That I would love you to the end of time I swore I would love you to the end of time! So now I’m praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive 'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you I don’t think that I can really survive I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow But God only knows what I can do right now I’m praying for the end of time It’s all that I can do Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!: -Jim Steinman, “Paradise By the Dashboard Light”
Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.: -Joe Walsh, “Life’s Been Good”
You took my breath away and now I want it back Ah, you should've killed me You always looked so good in black.: -Don Henley, "You Don't Know Me At All"
We're always happy, Life's for living, yeah, that's our philosophy.: -Mungo Jerry, "In the Summertime"
There's a lady I know If I didn't know her, she'd be the lady... I didn't know. My lady, she went downtown She bought some...broccoli She brought it hooo-oome... ... She's choppin' broccoli She's choppin' broccoli...: -Dana Carvey, the greatest stand-up special ever
What is dancing but making love set to music?: - "Come Dance With Me"
The more I think about it, old Billy was right: Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight.: -Don Henley/Glenn Frey, "Get Over It"
It's very nice to go trav'ling to Paris, London, and Rome It's oh-so-nice to go trav'ling But it's so much nicer, yes, it's so much nicer to come home.: - "It's Nice To Go Trav'ling"
“Relax,” said the night man. “We are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”: -Don Henley, “Hotel California”

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Song texts from TV shows (like basically Simpsons and South Park)

We Put the "Spring" in Springfield Homer: You could close down Moe's or the Kwik-E-Mart And nobody would care But the heart and soul of Springfield's in Our Maison Derriere! Belle: We're the sauce on your steak, We're the cheese in your cake We put the spring in Springfield Girl 1:We're the lace on the nightgown Girl 2: The point after touchdown Girls: Yes, we put the spring in Springfield Belle: We're that little extra spice that makes existence extra nice A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price Rev. Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals Girl: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad Girls: They seemed to entertain your dad! Girls: The gin in your martini The clams on your linguine Yes, we keep the (boing) in Springfield Krusty, Wiggum, and Skinner: We remember our first visit Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite Mrs. Quimby: Why, Joseph, I had no idea! Mayor Quimby: Come on, now, you were working here! Grandpa and Jasper: Without it, we'd have had no fun Since March of 1961! Bart: To shut them down now would be twisted Dolph, Kearney, and Jimbo: We just heard this place existed... Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu Girls: So don't take the (boing)... Men: We won't take the... Girls: Yes, let's keep the (bang) in Springfield.: -The Simpsons, "Bart After Dark" (in my opinion the best song from the Simpsons)
Lisa's picketing minstrel song Come gather 'round, children, It's high time ye learned 'bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns We'll march till we drop, the girls and the fellas We'll fight till the death or else fold like umbrellas So we'll march day and night by the big cooling tower They have the plant, but we have the power.: -Lisa Simpson, "Last Exit to Springfield"
Baby On Board Baby on board How I've adored That sign on my car's window pane Bounce in my step Loaded with pep 'Casue I'm riding in the carpool lane Call me a square Friend, I don't care That little yellow sign can't be ignored I'm telling you, it's mighty nice Each trip's a trip to paradise With my baby on board: -The B Sharps, "Homer's Barbershop Quartet"
Canyonero theme song Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive, Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five? Canyonero... Canyonero Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down The country-fried truck endorsed by a clown Canyonero... Canyonero Twelve yeards long, two lanes wide Sixty-five tons of American pride Canyonero... Canyonero Top of the line in utility sports Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts Canyonero... Canyonero She blinds everybody with her super-high beams She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine Canyonero... Canyonero!... Hya!... Hya, Canyonero... Whoa, Canyonero!...: -The Simpsons,
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Ape: Help, the human's about to escape! Troy McClure: Get your paws of me, you dirty ape! Apes: He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk... McClure: I can siiiiiing! Ape-woman: Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius! Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Ohhh, Dr. Zaius McClure: What's wrong with me? Dr. Zaius: I think your crazy. McClure: Want a second opinion! Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy. McClure: Can I play the piano anymore? Dr. Zaius: Of course, you can. McClure: Well, I couldn't before. Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius... Ohhh, Dr. Zaius: -The Simpsons, "A Fish Called Selma"
Happy Birthday Lisa Michael Jackson: Lisa, it's your birthday God bless you this day You gave me the gift of a little sister and I'm proud of you today Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday Happy birthday, Lisa Lisa, it's your birthday Happy birthday, Lisa Michael: I wish you love and goodwill I wish you peace a joy Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires Michael: And your first kiss from a boy Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday Happy birthday, Lisa Lisa, it's your birthday Happy birthday, Lisa: -The Simpsons, "Stark Raving Dad"
I like pizza I like bagels I like hot dogs with mustard and beer. I'll eat eggplant, I could even eat a baby deer La la la la la la la laaa lala… Who's that baby deer on the lawn there?...: -Homer Simpson, "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner"
Professor Frink/Professor Frink/He'll make you laugh/He'll make you think/He likes to run and then the thing with the…person… Oh, that monkey's going to pay…: -John Frink, "The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink" theme song, "22 Short Films About Springfield" (my favorite episode)
The Mediocre Presidents Song We are the mediocre presidents You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents! There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore, and there's Hayes There's William Henry Harrison, "I died in thirty days!" We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable caretaker presidents of the U…S…A!: -The Simpsons, "I Love Lisa"
Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu: Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, there's no structure I have been to that I'd rather call my home... When I first arrived you were all such jerks But now I've come to love your quirks Maggie with her eyes so bright Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright Lisa can philosophize Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella Sorry 'bout the salmonella Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part: Oh, won't you rhyme with me... Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Marge: Their-floors-are-sticky-mart Lisa: They-made-that-sick-e-mart Bart: Let's-hurl-a-brick-e-mart Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real...d'oh! All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu: Not me!... Simpsons: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu: Not me!: -The Simpsons, "Homer and Apu"
Yabba-dabba-do! Simpson, Homer Simpson He's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield He's about to hit a chestnut tree... Aaaahhhh!: -Homer Simpson
In the Garden of Eden by I. Ron Butterfly In the Garden of Eden, honey Don't you know that I love you In the Garden of Eden, baby Don't you know that I'll always be true Oh, won't you come with me and take my hand? Oh, won't you come with me and walk this land: -The Simpsons, "Bart Sells His Soul"
Jazzman by Carole King When the Jazzman's testifying a faithless man believes He can sing you into paradise or bring you to your knees Jazzman, take my blues away Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play Jazzman... oh, Jazzman...: -Lisa Simpson, "Jazzman" by Carole King, "Round Springfield" (this isn't really a Simpsons song, it's just a pop song sung by Lisa, but I totally love this clip, so I had to include it)
Kamp Krusty song Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty By the shores of Big Snake Lake Though your swings are rusty, we know they'll never break From your gleaming mess hall to your hallowed baseball field to your spic-and-span infirmary where all our wounds are healed Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty Below mount avalanche We will always love Kamp Krusty A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation All rights reserved!: -The Simpsons, "Kamp Krusty"
Monorail song Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on Earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail! What'd I say? Ned Flanders: Monorail! Lanley: What's it called? Patty or Selma: Monorail. Lanley: That's right! Monorail! Townspeople: Monorail... Monorail... Monorail... Maude Flanders: I hear those things are awfully loud. Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud. Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend. Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs? Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs. Grandpa: Were you sent here by the devil? Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level. Chief Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can. Lanley: Take my pen-knife, my good man. I swear it's Springfield's only choice Throw up your hands and raise your voice! Town: Monorail!... Lanley: What's it called? Town: Monorail!... Lanley: Once again. Town: Monorail!... Marge: Main street's still all cracked and broken. Bart. Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken. Town: Monorail!... Monorail!... Monorail!... Monorail! Homer: Mono—d'oh!: -The Simpsons, "Marge vs. the Monorail"
O, Whacking Day O, Whacking Day, O Whacking Day Our hallowed snake-skull-cracking day We'll break their backs, gouge out their eyes Their evil hearts, we'll pulverize O Whacking Day, O Whacking Day May God bestow his grace on thee.: -Springfield Elementary School chorus, "Whacking Day"
Minimum-Wage Nanny ad Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter Please be sweet and never bitter Help us with math and book reports Bart: Might I add: eat my shorts Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her Bart: let me get away with moider Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks Homer: Might I add: no fat chicks Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage Lisa: Hurry, nanny, things are grim Grandpa: I'll do it! Bart and Lisa: Anyone but him!: -The Simpsons, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious
A Half-Assed Job Shary Bobbins: If there's a task that must be done, Don't turn your tail and run Don't pout Don't sob Just do a half-assed job... If...you...cut every corner, it is really not so bad Everybody does it, even Mom and Dad If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad. Bart: It's the American way! Shary Bobbins: The policeman on the beat Needs some time to rest his feet. Chief Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea. Shary Bobbins: And the clerk who runs the store can charge a little more for meat... Apu: For meat... Shary Bobbins: And milk... Apu: And milk... Both: From 1984... Shary Bobbins: If you cut every corner, you'll have more time for play Simpsons: It's the American way!...: -The Simpsons, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious
Spanish Flea There was a little Spanish flea A record star he thought he'd be He thought of singers like Beatles and Chipmunks he'd seen on TV Why not a little Spanish flea?: -Homer Simpson
Springfield, Springfield Bart and Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield It's a hell of a town The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down The stray dogs go to the animal pound Bart: Springfield, Springfield Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield Sailor: New York, New York Bart: New York is thataway, man! Sailor: Thanks, kid! Bart and Milhouse: It's a hell of a town!: -The Simpsons, "Boy-Scoutz In the Hood"
"All In the Family" theme song parody Homer: ...the way the Bee Gees played Marge: Movies John Travolta made Homer: Guessing how much Elvis weighed Both: Those were the days Marge: And you knew where you were then Homer: Watching shows like "Gentle Ben" Both: Mister, we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again Homer: Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac Marge: Coming out of my eight track Both: Michael Jackson still was black Those were the days Homer: Bart was feeling mighty blue Marge: It's a shame what school can do Apu: For no reason, here's Apu All: Those were the days!: -The Simpsons, "Lisa's First Word"
Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows by Leslie Gore Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together Brighter than a lucky penny When you're near the rain clouds disappear, dear and I feel so fine...: -Leslie Gore, Chief Wiggum, and Homer Simpson, "Marge on the Lam"
Under the sea Under the sea There'll be no accusations, Just friendly crustaceans Under the sea!: -Homer Simpson, "Homer Badman"
We Do (Stonecutters' song) Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do... We do... Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do... We do... Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do... We do... Who robs cave fish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do... We do!...: -The Stonecutters, "Homer the Great"
When I was Seventeen When I was seventeen I drank some very good beer I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. My name was Brian McGee I stayed up listening to Queen When I was seventeen.: -Homer Simpson
Boozehound Shary Bobbins: In front of a tavern, flat on his face A boozehound named Barney is pleading his case Barney: Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass Come on, help me—I'm freezing my ass Buy me a brandy A snifter of wine Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine Moe: Move it, ya drunk, or I'll blast your rear end Barney: I found two bucks Moe: Then come in, my friend Shary Bobbins: And so let us leave on this heartwarming scene Bart: Can I be a boozehound? Homer: Not till you're fifteen.: -The Simpsons, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious
Ballad of Jebediah Springfield It's that team of Jebediah Springfield Whip them horses, let them wagons roll That a people might embiggen America That a man might embiggen his soul... His soul... His soul!...: -The Simpsons
Kyle's Mom's a Bitch Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch She's a big, fat bitch She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls On Monday she's a bitch On Tuesday she's a bitch On Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super, King Kong, mega-mega-biatch! Come on, you all know the words! Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a mean, old bitch and she has stupid hair She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this! (Fake French, Chinese, Dutch, and Swahili, maybe) Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a mean, old bitch and she has stupid hair She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch I really mean it, Kyle's mom... She's a big, fat, stinkin' bitch! Big old fucking fat bitch, Kyle's mom!...: -Eric Cartman, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
What Would Brian Boitano Do? Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through That's what Brian Boitano'd do Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the gold He did two Salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears He used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair All: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two That's what Brian Boitano'd do Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me It has stunted my vocabulary Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist, too 'cause that's what Brian Boitano would do All: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano'd do Stan and Kyle: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010 He fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, he beat up Kublai Khan All: 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody... So let's get all the kids together and unite to stop our moms And we'll save Terrance and Philip too 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do And we'll save Terrance and Philip too 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do... 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!: -South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Blame Canada Mrs. Broflofski: Times have changed our kids are getting worse they won't obey their parents, they just want to fart and curse. Mrs. Cartman: Should we blame the government? Mrs. Marsh: Or blame society? Men: Or should we blame the images on TV? Mrs. Broflofski: No! Blame Canada! All: Blame Canada! Mrs. Broflofski: With all their beady little eyes and flappin' heads so full of lies All: Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Mrs. Broflofski: We need to form a full assault All: It's Canada's fault! Mrs. Marsh: Don't blame me for my son Stan He saw the darned cartoon and now he's off to join the Klan. Mrs. Cartman: And boy Eric once had my picture on his shelf But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself. Mrs. Broflofski: Well? Blame Canada! All: Blame Canada! Mrs. Broflofski: It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along All: Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Mr. Marsh: They're not even a real country anyway. Mrs. McCormick: My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer, it's true Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue. Men: Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire? Or the doctors who allowed him to expire? Mrs. Broflofski: Heck, no! Blame Canada! With their hockey hullaballoo Mrs. Cartman: And that bitch Ann Murray, too All: Blame Canada! Shame on Canada!: -South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Lunchlady Land Woke up in the morning, put on my new plastic glove Served some reheated Salisbury steak with a little slice of love I got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of Just know everything's doing fine down here in... Lunchlady Land Well, I wear this net on my head 'cause my red hair is falling out I wear these brown orthopedic shoes 'cause I got a bad case of the gout I know you want seconds on the corn dogs but there's not reason to shout Everybody gets enough food down here in the magical... Lunchlady Land Well, yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes and my breath wreaks of tuna and there's lots of black hairs coming out of my nose Aww, hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, navy beans Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders Navy beans, navy beans, meatloaf sandwich... Sloppy joe, slop-sloppy joe, yeah Sloppy joe, slop-sloppy joe, hoo-yeah! Sloppy joe, slop-sloppy joe, yeah Sloppy joe, slop-sloppy joe Well, I dreamt one morning that I woke up to see all the pepperoni pizza was looking at me It screamed, "Why do you burn me and serve me up cold?" I said, "I got the spatula, just do what you're told." Then the liver and onions started joining the fight And the chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might And the chop suey slapped me and it kicked me in the head "It's called revenge, Lunchlady," said the garlic bread I said, "What did I do to make you all so mad?" "You got flabby arms and your breath is bad." Then the green beans said, "You'd better run and hide." But then my friend Sloppy Joe came and joined my side He said, "If it wasn't for the Lunchlady, the kids wouldn't eat ya. You should be shaking her hand and saying, 'Pleased to meet ya.' She gives you a purpose and she gives you a role You should be kissing her feet and kissing her mole." Now all the angry foods just leave me alone And we all lived together in a happy home, thanks to Sloppy Joe, Slop-Sloppy Joe, yeah Sloppy Joe, Slop-Sloppy Joe, hoo-yeah! Sloppy Joe, Slop-Sloppy Joe, yeah Sloppy Joe, Slop-Sloppy Joe Well, me and Sloppy Joe got married We got six kids and we're doing just fine Down in Lunchlady Land...: -Adam Sandler, Saturday Night Live

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Great song and album titles

You Bought It, You Name It by Joe Walsh (my favorite)

“The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful” by Jimmy Buffett

“I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better”

“Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ’Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye”

“I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You”

“If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You”

“I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well”

“Mama Get A Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)”

“My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him”

“You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly”

“I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here”

“If the Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me”

“She’s Actin’ Single and I’m Drinkin’ Doubles”

“She’s Looking Better After Every Beer”

“I Haven’t Gone to Bed With Any Ugly Women But I’ve Sure Woke Up With Some”

“How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”

“We Are the People Our Parents Warned Us About” by Jimmy Buffett

So What by Joe Walsh

There Goes the Neighborhood by Joe Walsh

The Smoker You Drink, the Player You Get by Barnstorm

...But Seriously, Folks by Joe Walsh

Look What I Did! by Joe Walsh

“I Don’t Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling”

“All I Want From You (Is Away)”

“If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?”
[Note: An Australian girl named Rai informed me that this actually “is an ‘Aussie’ Rock/Pop song, Not ‘Country.’” So there you go, Rai—you got on my site and the info was corrected.]

(All those country songs (except the last one which isn't country) without attribution I got from StrangeCosmos.com)

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