Welcome to my website

Well, I've graduated from the University of Georgia, and I don’t know how long my account will remain in existence, so let’s see how long this web page stays up!  It might be quite a while because it was, after all, voted THE BEST ARCHES student website for the 2002-2003 school year by the UGA Committee for Technology Resources and Student Development.



Hundreds of the all-time greatest quotations about politics, sports, history, science, and pretty much everything else

Who I am

My favorite gene names


New! Washington, D.C. pictures added!

Must-see links

Gabriel Robins’s page of good quotations by famous people

I donít know Dr. Robins or anything; I just found his quotes page a long time ago and it is easily the best collection of quotations I have found on the internet (I guess other than mineÖ). Iím sure some of his quotes also appear in my lists, but I didnít want to just copy his quotes because itís his list and I preferred to give you a link to it.

The greatest band of all time

The Eagles! Don Henley, Glenn Frey, Randy Meisner, Bernie Leadon, Don Felder, Joe Walsh, Timothy B. Schmit (not all at the same time).


Pretty amazing.

Dave Barry articles (Miami Herald)

How many humor columnists do you know of who have won a Pulitzer Prize? Not that many, I can tell you. Funniest writer ever.

Oedipus the King (of the Road)

The story of Oedipus Rex told entirely with California vanity license plates, never repeating a one. This is truly amazing.

The greatest pictures of our universe

This NASA website has thousands of pictures of outer space and of Earthly astronomy-related things. It is totally awesome. All the great Hubble pictures are there somewhere, I assume, plus many other astounding photographs and illustrations of all things cosmic. It is easy to waste tons of time here, but it’s a good waste of time.

Kellyís website

My friend Kelly knows a lot about computers and designed his own spiffy website. He is a fat, lazy bastard, however, so he doesn’t have a webpage anymore, online or even on his hard drive, and isn’t paying for its hosting at the moment. Maybe he'll put it back up someday...

NAQTóNational Academic Quiz Tournaments

Iím a very proud former question writer for NAQT. They produce the best academic bowl questions for high school and college, period, and all school-year long, not just a couple times spring semester. (They also donít call fungi ďnon-photosynthetic plants,Ē like some other, unnamed quiz bowl companies of yellowy badness.) Also, in case you might care, Ken Jennings is one of the question editors of NAQT. (For those of you who spent the last year under a rock, Jennings set the all-time record for winnings on a game show in his 74 victories on “Jeopardy!”)


Khaaaaaaaannn! Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!

My favorite videos online

Kirk Gibson’s magical home run       Unit vs. Kruk       Funniest “Who's Line” Ever

The Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself” video       Austin Powers and the Fembots

Space: The Infinite Frontier with Harry Caray       Scmitt's Gay beer commercial       

Super Mario Bros. race       Greatest music video EVAR

More links

Hey, I canít put everything on the home page.

Some favorite bumper stickers

The all-time greatest ones are actually window stickers that say Starfleet Academy. They go in the back windshield as if they are supposed to be that person’s college, you know... It’s just brilliant. I will have one of those someday.
Later, I also saw one that said Borg Institute of Technology. Later still, I saw one that said Klingon Warrior Academy. (I’m a pretty big fan of pretty much all things Star Trek.)
My parents’ favorite of all time is a bumper sticker that simply said BUMPER STICKER. And one time I saw a Georgia vanity license plate that said PLATE. I loved that.
Here are some others I’ve noted, most with my own eyes, some from The Vent:
Jesus Loves You, But I’m His Favorite
I’m Not A Dumb Blonde (sticker put on upside down)
I [heart] Explosives
Be Kind to Animals—Hug a Hockey Player (that one’s for Kyle)
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives
NEED - When someone wants someone else’s money.
 GREED - When someone wants to keep their money.
  COMPASSION - When a Democrat facilitates the transfer from the greedy to the needy.
Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
Jesus is coming... Look busy
Isis, Isis, Ra Ra Ra!
Silly boys, trucks are for girls (on the window of a pickup truck driven by a Delta Delta Delta)
The only problem with Baptists is they don’t hold them underwater long enough
Drive it like you stole it
Vegetarian: An old Indian word for poor hunter
My ship finally came in, but it was the Kobayashi Maru (HA!)
This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn’t lost one yet (Thanks to: Mike)
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you.
I’d rather be shooting Yankees
My boss is a Jewish carpenter
University of Margaritaville
Caution: Driver just doesn’t give a shit anymore
If God didn’t create homosexuals, then why do they exist?
My karma ran over my dogma
What if the hokey pokey really IS what it’s all about?
Honk if you want Ron Burgundy!
My other vehicle is a zamboni
If you can read this, roll me over! (Put on upside-down on the front windshield of a Jeep      Wrangler. HA!)
What Would Scooby Do?
My Westie is smarter than your honor student

College Football National Champions, 1934-2004

Coolest gift ever


A dog’s journal vs. a cat’s journal

My goals in life

Eric Stoltz and Craig Kilborn

My favorite Chris Berman’s nicknames